It can be easy to relegate our main thinking of home to just the physical structure that we go to for food and rest, but it is so much more. It is true that there is a lot of refueling and rest that will happen there - as a mom of boys, I can absolutely attest to the amount of food that can be consumed in the home! But, home should also be where each member can get rest and care, but also be vulnerable and real, and also be asked to contribute. It is where we should be challenged to grow and learn and protect with grace and patience.
Maybe you’ve heard the quip, ‘mom is the heart of the home’, but if an entire home is leaning on any one person to bring direction and take responsibility for the care of others, then your home is missing out on giftings and talent from some of its members. Home requires that all members participate in its creation, even children, so that each member learns to operate at their fullest capacity in a safe place. When home is the safe place to practice how to be our best selves, then we are more prepared to go out and thrive in our communities.
5 ways we can all start taking responsibility for how we each play a part in creating home are:
Attitude: Choose positivity. It can be so easy to allow ourselves to think of the negative side of any situation, but in order to see change, we also have to bring an attitude that allows for change. This is something that has to be taught and modeled.
Input: What you consume will overflow into your home. Books, podcasts, friends we surround ourselves with, movies, even the food we consume will affect how we act in our homes. Regularly taking a personal inventory of what is influencing our minds, thoughts, & moods helps us to remove barriers that hold us back from growth and positive change.
Communication: Speak to help, not just to be heard. So many of us have mastered communicating what we need. But, many of us aren’t the only ones in our homes, which means we need to grow in our ability to understand other people and make space for their needs. This one point can also be extended to our work places, organizations, schools, friend groups, and any other arena where we deal with other people.
Negativity: Stop using words like “can’t,” “won’t,” “worry,” and stop yourself from stepping into judgment. Oftentimes, verbalizing the negative stops productive listening, positive change, and hopeful ideas.
Goals: Define what you are working toward. This can be a simple list to a whole manifesto. You can define goals for just yourself, or for your household. No matter how you do it, when you define goals, it is much easier for people to know what they are supposed to be working towards.
These steps will need to be taught and practiced, and sometimes, even re-taught - I know I sometimes need a reminder to take responsibility for myself first, even in my own home. Learning how to invest in making your home a place of effective care, learning, rest, nourishment, and growth won’t happen overnight, but the return will always be worth it.
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